The Colorful Place

There's a restaurant down the road from my house that we call The Colorful Place. I eat there almost every day. The restaurant is a little hole in the wall place set up on the front porch of a house. The walls and furniture are all painted in bright rainbow colors. It's a little bit dirty and the chairs are all kind of rickety, but it's literally my favorite place in Thailand. I love it there. Their food is cheap and absolutely delicious, but that's not the main reason I love it. I love it because of the people.

There are three workers at The Colorful Place. Ba Yong is the older lady that does the cooking, Pii Doo is her daughter who helps wherever she's needed, and Ba Nah is the server and dishwasher. One of my favorite things about living in Thailand for these past three months has been getting to know these ladies. They're wonderful! None of them speak any English and I speak very little Thai, but despite the many awkward and incomplete conversations that we've had, these ladies have become my friends.

A few weeks ago, my teammate Lizzy and I were eating lunch at The Colorful Place like we do every day. The restaurant wasn't busy so we started having a conversation with Pii Doo in our limited Thai. After talking with her for a while, she said something in Thai about us coming to study there at the restaurant. This is something that Lizzy and I had hoped for and prayed about for several weeks! So we quickly paid for our meal then ran home to get our Thai books and came back. Pii Doo sat there with us for over three hours helping us practice our Thai. We learned a lot of Thai that day but we were also able to get to know Pii Doo and the other ladies much more. It was so great!

Ever since then, all three ladies get super excited when they see me or Lizzy. They like to joke with us and they love it when we try out our new Thai phrases. Ba Yong will come rub my arms (she loves my white skin) or she'll tickle my stomach (it's kind of weird, but I've grown to appreciate it). They notice if we're not acting like ourselves and they ask to make sure that we're okay. We may not speak much of the same language but we've been able to develop a really sweet relationship.

Today, for example, I had already finished eating lunch at The Colorful Place when Ba Yong called me from across the room "Uhmalee!" She waved for me to come over and sit with her. She offered me some of her Som Tum (papaya salad) as well as some dried fish. She also introduced me to some of her friends who I had never met before. I sat with them for a while, just enjoying their company. It might seem like a small thing for Ba Yong to call me over but it was a big deal to me. She made me feel so special and loved! That is why I love The Colorful Place!

I've had some hard times this past month with culture shock, homesickness, personal struggles, etc. but in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I don't want to focus on the hard or bad things I'm facing. Instead, I want to focus on the things I love and the things I'm thankful for in Thailand. Today, I'm thankful for The Colorful Place. I'm thankful for a little old lady who tickles my belly and makes me feel loved even on the days where everything just seems bad. I'm thankful for these three women who make me feel welcome and wanted here in Thailand. I'm thankful for the way God has answered my prayers in giving me Thai friends and in providing a place to continually practice my Thai. I'm thankful that friendship is possible even with a language barrier.

November Update

Hello from Thailand!!

It's hard to believe that I've been in Thailand for almost two months already! We are definitely in the full swing of things here! Most of our time right now is still spent studying Thai. I'm proud to inform you that I now know all 44 Thai consonants and most of the vowels too! It's pretty exciting to be able to read in Thai, even if I don't know what many words mean yet. I've also been able to have some great conversations in Thai with some of my new friends! The other day I even had a Thai friend tell me that my Thai is "so clear!" Although I think that's a bit of an exaggeration, I was very encouraged to realize that even though language is always a struggle, I am definitely getting better. I'm pretty excited about that :)

A few of my teammates and our wonderful language teachers.

Another exciting thing that happened last week was that I got my motorbike license! I am now free to drive myself wherever I want. This will save a lot of time and money compared to always taking public transportation. I am still pretty nervous about driving a motorbike in Thai traffic, but I'm sure I'll get used to it soon. However, if you want to be praying against anxiety while I drive, I would definitely appreciate it.

My motorbike! You can't really tell in the picture, but it's white and purple. My favorite :)

A few weeks ago I was able to go to the Yi Peng lantern festival with some of my teammates. This festival is a Buddhist holiday where thousands of people come together and release lanterns into the sky. Releasing the lanterns is symbolic of releasing their sins and it is also believed to bring good luck. It was fascinating to observe this part of the Thai culture and it gave me a deeper understanding of the need for Christ in this country.

The lanterns in the sky were so beautiful!

On another note, it's been super cool to start seeing some ways that Christ is moving here. Two weeks ago I was able to go to a baptism with my church and see many Thais make a public declaration of their love for God. It was so exciting! And the last three nights I've enjoyed attending special worship gatherings at my church that are filled with passionate people singing to the Lord and praying for their nation. It's a beautiful thing to be a part of! I've also been very encouraged by the unity I see in the Thai church and by the testimonies I've heard from my Thai friends about how the Lord has changed their lives. There is still a lot of darkness in Thailand but God is definitely moving here!

At the baptism with Acts Church.

One final thing- I have officially decided to work at Home of the Swallow for my ministry starting in January! I described Home of the Swallow a little bit in my last blog, but basically I'll be working with single mothers and their young children. Much of my time will be spent doing childcare but I will also have opportunities to teach English and build relationships with the moms. I'm very excited to start in January!

So that's about it. Thanks for reading this and for all of your prayers!

~Emily

5 Weeks In!

Sawatdee Kha friends! Sorry that I haven't sent out more updates. We've been busy here in Thailand!

Our first two weeks here we had orientation. During this time we covered a lot of information on logistical things but we also had a lot of fun. One of my favorite days of orientation involved splitting into groups of 2 or 3 and doing an Amazing Race all over Chiang Mai. It was super fun to explore the city and get more comfortable in our new home. We also got to try bubble tea, visit a waterfall, and eat some bugs (gross!). It was a great time!

Once orientation finished, we started our Thai class. Learning Thai is HARD! Thai is a tonal language which is completely different than English. A word can be pronounced with 5 different tones and each one means something totally different. For example, if you say the word for sorry with the wrong tone, you might accidentally say please fart. As you can tell, this can lead to some awkward situations.

Thai is also hard because we have to learn an entirely new alphabet. Thai vowels can be above, below, before, or after the consonant. It's so confusing! But, as challenging as it is, I am learning a lot. Considering we've only had 3 weeks of class so far, I think I'm doing pretty well! And thankfully, we have an excellent teacher who is very patient with us as we struggle. She's also hilarious which helps to lighten the mood when we're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated (which is often).

This past week we took a little break from language school and did a tour of all the ministries we'll have the chance to work with. We looked at 8 ministries that were all fantastic and very different. After seeing my options, I'm hoping to work with a ministry that helps single moms and their children. The idea behind the ministry is to reduce the number of orphaned children by supporting the moms. They teach parenting and life skills in addition to having childcare for the young kids. So I'd have the chance to disciple women while also hanging out with cute babies. It's perfect for me! We should start ministry in January, once we have a better grasp on the language.

Other than that, internship is going well! I'm learning to drive my motorbike and training myself to like the spicy Thai food. I'm beginning to make some friends at the restaurants we visit a lot and I'm getting used to ants and geckos being everywhere. Life here is challenging for me, but it's also very good, and I'm learning to like it more and more every day.

Thank you for your support and your prayers!

~Emily




My wonderful team!


 

Thoughts on Thailand

I can't believe it. I've already been in Thailand for a month! Crazy, right?! Although I have done a lot of travelling in the past, moving to a new country has been a completely new experience. We haven't had to rush to fit everything in like we did on my shorter mission trips. We're actually taking the time to learn what it means to live here. We're learning how to get around town, how to speak the language, how to not be offensive to the culture, etc. It's very good but also challenging. I've had times of being completely overwhelmed as I faced a crowded market or started learning an entirely new alphabet (which is HARD!). But I've also had a lot of exciting experiences like exploring the city, getting to know my teammates and leaders, and starting to build relationships with some of the Thais. So even though this last month has had a lot of hard moments, it has definitely been good!

One of my favorite things about Thailand so far has been getting to know my language teacher, Pii Peung. Pii Peung is great. She's hilarious, often speaking in weird voices or doing little dances, and she's also a fantastic teacher who challenges us to learn more than we thought possible. But what I've enjoyed most about Pii Peung is when we have our class breaks and she starts telling us about her life. The other day Pii Peung shared part of her testimony with us and it was so encouraging!

 I won't share her whole story but I will tell you the gist of it. Pii Peung used to be Buddhist, like the vast majority of Thais. However, she wasn't really satisfied with Buddhism because it wasn't making any difference in her life. In the midst of a very hard year, she ended up getting a job working with Christians. Through this job, the Lord encountered her and transformed her life, in a way that Buddhism was unable to do. Now, she is on fire for the Lord and serves him in many ways. Her life has been transformed and God has used her to help transform many other lives as well. It's beautiful!

I love Pii Peung's story because it gives me hope that God can move here in Thailand. Thailand can very easily seem like a hopeless place for the gospel. There have been missionaries in Thailand for 160 years and there's still only about 1% of Thais who are Christian. Like I said, it seems hopeless that things will ever change. But then I hear stories like Pii Peung's and I get so excited because it's not hopeless. God can change Thailand! God can bring hope and truth and life to this place. And I get to be a part of that! I'm very excited for that opportunity!

I went to a Thai church the other day and the pastor made the point that when we pray, we should focus our attention on who God is, more than on our request. I think that's important to do while praying for Thailand. If I focus my attention on the problems, on how resistant the Buddhists are to the gospel or the rampant idolatry, then I'm just going to get discouraged. But if I focus on the fact that God is good and powerful and that he loves the Thai people and that he is able to do far more abundantly than I can even imagine, then I have hope. Then I have a purpose for being here.

So even though I am often overwhelmed with this new culture, new language, and new food, and even though I'm tempted to get discouraged as I walk past the Buddhist shrines that are literally everywhere, I will focus my attention on God. I will remember that HE is why I am here. My first priority is to love him. I'm not here to save the Thai people, though I do pray that he will use me to draw people closer to him. I am here to love, worship, and serve the Lord with all of my heart. I am here to let him use me, in whatever way he pleases, big or small. I am here, first and foremost, to bring glory to God.



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Looking over the beautiful city of Chiang Mai from the mountain.

A Buddhist temple near Chiang Mai.

 

Practicing my letters in Thai, much like a kindergartener.

 

5 years!

Today is June 7th which means it has officially been 5 years FREE from cutting!
This is a HUGE accomplishment! Even though I still have many struggles, I am not even remotely the same person I was 5 years ago.

5 years ago I barely knew how to smile. Today, I do.
5 years ago I was terrified of joy. Today, I am filled with it.
5 years ago I knew about God. Today, I know him and love him with all my heart.

I have been changed, renewed, restored, and brought back to life. It's a beautiful thing!

These 5 years have been full of struggle and tears and pain but it has most definitely been worth it. Victory doesn't come without a fight.
So today, I celebrate my victory. I celebrate the hope and life that Jesus has given me. Again, it is a beautiful thing!

Thank you to everyone who has helped me along this journey! I wouldn't be here without you!

In honor of today, I wrote a poem that I would like to share with you. . .
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5 years ago my life changed radically.
I cut myself for [almost] the last time.
I turned from my razors
And looked to my Savior
And for the first time
I found hope.
5 years ago I was literally at the end of my rope.
I had plans to die
But instead I chose life
And I haven't looked back since.
Now, it hasn't been easy.
In fact, these 5 years are some of the hardest I've faced.
But standing in the place I'm at now
I can tell you, the struggle was worth it.

5 years ago I was trapped in sadness.
My skies were always gray
And I didn't think gladness was even a possibility.
I was certain that nothing could ever change
And joy was so far out of my range
That it sounded like a sick joke.
But it was during that time that my Lord spoke
And told me that I was loved.
At first he made me angry
Because what he said was so outrageous
That it couldn't possibly be true.
But it was.
I was deeply loved.
And that changed everything.

5 years ago God breathed life back into my lungs
And songs I hadn't sung for years
Returned to my lips.
Color was painted back into my gray world
And suddenly I was no longer the same girl I was before.
I was made new and complete
And his breath tasted sweet to my soul.
My broken heart was made whole
And it started beating again.

5 years ago my life changed radically.
I walked head on into freedom and hope
And I will NEVER look back.

An Unworthy Sinner

I would like to share a journal entry that I wrote a few days ago. . .

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"Lately I've been realizing just how unworthy I am. I am a sinner. I am a rebel. I am not righteous. I am not good. Everything about me deserves to go to hell.

But even though I'm covered in dirt and slime and I deserve to be destroyed, God has shown me mercy. I deserve death but he has given me life. I am a sinner but he has named me righteous. I have been rebellious but God has shown me honor. I have been prideful but he has served me in humility.

I do not understand this God I serve, but I love him. I am so thankful for the way he fights for my love. I'm thankful for his patience and mercy. I'm thankful for his grace- that not only does he refrain from punishing me but he actually gives me good gifts. I'm thankful that his love for me will never change no matter how good or bad I am. I'm thankful that he accepts me even as a failure and that he doesn't leave me like that..."

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All of this reminds me of the song "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." It says...
"Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers.

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished."
-Stuart Townend

This Easter, I am humbled by the realization that it was my sin that held Jesus to the cross. I am the one who deserved to die. But Jesus took the place of an unworthy sinner and died on that cross.
I am so incredibly grateful for Jesus' sacrifice and the life I have because of it! Praise the Lord for all he has done!

Zaupam Ti

One of my favorite things about mission trips is worshiping in other languages. I love it because even if I don't know what I'm saying, I know that it's good and glorifying to God.

When I went to Slovenia in May we had many opportunities to worship in Slovene. It was especially great because they sang many songs that I know in English so I was able to understand the meaning of the words. One song we sang was "Healer" by Hillsong. There's a bridge in that song that says "I trust in you." In Slovene it goes "Zaupam ti"

That phrase was beautiful to me so I wrote it down. Now it's become a sort of mantra that I'll pray to remind myself of truth.
"God things are really hard right now but zaupam ti." "God I don't understand what you're doing but zaupam ti." "God I'm terrified of what's going to happen but zaupam ti."

I've said this in many of my recent posts, but I'm in a season right now that is incredibly challenging. There are many days when I just want to turn my back on God and do things my own way. But I can't do that because I know the truth about God. I know that God is always good. I know that God is in control. And I know that God is worthy of my trust because even when I am faithless, he remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).

That's what I'm learning right now. I'm learning about God's faithfulness even in the midst of my darkness. I'm learning how to trust him even when I'm angry at him or when I'm hurting. I'm learning how to tell him "zaupam ti" in every circumstance.