A (not so) brief summary

So I've now been at Kairos for, I don't know, 4 weeks now(?) and I realized that I haven't had any updates since week 1 so here we go. . .
Everything is still going good. I'm starting to get comfortable with my host family which is nice. On Thursday I get to go to Kylee's 2nd grade program. I'm pretty excited :) It's been fun being a big sister for the first time.

As far as class goes we're learning a lot. Actually, that's probably the understatement of the century! We're learning a ton! I've already gone through an entire notebook if that tells you anything. We've had a few different speakers come in and they're all fantastic! Our second week, Steve Sizemore came in to teach on all sorts of spiritual foundations such as grace, discipleship, and humility. I really liked his definition of humility. Humility is choosing to be known for who I really am, nothing more or less. Humility is based in the truth while pride is based in lies. I don't know, it was really interesting and the whole week impacted me a lot.
The next week, Ollie Olson came in to teach on the bible. This guy knows his stuff! He pretty much has the entire bible memorized. We spent a lot of class time simply asking him questions that we had and he would give us thorough answers that were widely supported by scripture. We talked about things like a woman's role in the church, end times and the antichrist, how people in the Old Testament were saved, the roles of angels, dinosaurs, and so much more! Plus, he taught us ways to really study scripture for all that it's worth. This was a great week to really help solidify my faith by starting to understand some of the questions that I've had for years.
Last week on Monday and Tuesday, Kevin (he's the leader of Kairos- I don't remember if I've talked about him yet) taught on freedom. He talked about Romans 6 and that once we become Christians we no longer have a sin nature. This totally goes against everything I've ever been taught but as far as I can tell, it's true. The bible supports it. I definitely want to look into it more though. But anyways, since we don't have a sin nature, we don't have to sin anymore. We still can sin because it is our choice but we are no longer under the control of sin. We are free to choose to obey every time.This is crazy and hard but it's possible. Think about it, Jesus did it. Jesus didn't have to obey. He wasn't just programmed not to sin. He made a constant choice to obey His father and to not sin. So we can too. In other words, you can be as free as you want to be. Wow. I don't know, this blew my mind a little bit.
We also talked about the importance of confession not only to God but also to other Christians. This is not something I like at all but it's something that God has really been confronting me on lately. Along with confession, we talked about community and prayer. One of the points that stuck out to me a lot is that if you're struggling with sin, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Yeah, I need work on that one. . .
Anyways, I really liked the talks on freedom. They challenged me, a lot, but it's in a good way, you know?

So on Wednesday, we headed out on girls and guys retreats. The girls went back up to the camp where we did orientation but no ropes course this time. We did however play football and  grunt like men. Just saying. The retreat was actually really good. We spent some time talking about the book we had been reading (Set-Apart Femininity) which turned out way better than I expected. I didn't really like the book at all but God gave me a new perspective on it which was very much needed. We also did something called the mercy seat. Basically, you go up and sit in a chair in front of everyone and confess whatever needs to be confessed. Now, I was thoroughly uncomfortable with this. I don't do that, ever. But God got me up there and I was able to at least get some stuff out in the open. It was hard and there were a lot of tears but it was good. I'm not suddenly "cured" from my sin or anything but it was just really nice to not have to hide it anymore. And now it's like, when I'm struggling with it, I can tell someone, because it's not a secret. It was a really good night!
So yeah, the rest of the retreat wasn't too exciting and neither was my weekend. Yesterday and today in class we watched videos of Dean Sherman teaching on relationships. This covers things like attraction, sex, friendships, homosexuality, breaking up, etc. It covers a lot! But it's really good! (I know, I really need to get more adjectives to describe stuff. Sorry.) I've been finding a lot of direct applications to my life, not just for romantic relationships, but for all relationships.
So there you go. I'm thinking that maybe I should update more so these don't get so long. Anyways though, that's what's happening here. But now, I need to go to bed. Bye.

Emily

Some pictures



This is my small group (minus our leader Lydia).
 From L to R it's me, Leandra, Jessica, and Megan.



I found some corn. . .





This is part of the high ropes course we did.





Getting ready to go up.







More of the ropes course.



So far, so good. . .

So it's official, I am a Kairosian! Exciting, huh? I got to Kansas on Saturday. I ended up having to take my mom's car because my parents didn't trust mine. Not the ideal situation but I got here and I'm safe. So we had orientation on Mon. and Tues. and it was pretty great. On Mon. we did the low ropes course which was a ton of fun and it did it's job at bringing us together as a team. Then Tuesday we did the high ropes course. I was super excited and I couldn't wait but when you get up there, it's a lot scarier than on the ground! But, I did it. To get down we had to go on the zip line. Now, I love zip lines, but I haven't had the best experiences on them. So I'm getting ready to jump and I'm freaking out thinking that I'm going to hit the tree at the end but finally I jump. Ouch!!! I didn't hit the tree but I did get some pretty bad rope burn on my hands. Yeah, zip lines are not my thing :\

Anyways, we started class on Wednesday. Wow, we learn a lot really quickly. On wed. we talked about worship. There were a lot of cool things that I took away but one of the biggest was just the definition of worship. Worship is giving God all of our affection. Think about that, all. Not 95%. Crazy, isn't it? That's something I think we all need to work on. I know I definitely do.

On Thurs. our talk was about "everything". We talked about living as true disciples to Christ which involves being radically obedient. It was really interesting. Today we talked about passion and then intercessory prayer. I've never really heard of intercessory prayer before so I had no idea what it was let alone how to do it. Basically, it's asking God to reveal what's on his heart to be prayed for and then praying for those things. We went and practiced it in groups. It was kind of weird and awkward since I've never done it before but it was really cool. We had 4 groups and after we finished praying, we came and looked at what God had revealed to each group. A lot of them matched up and this was weird because we were all in different rooms so there's no way people could have heard each other. In other words, there was no doubt that God was involved. It was really cool and I'm excited to practice it some more.

So as you can see, classes are going pretty good. I like my host family a lot too! My 7 year old Kylee is super cute! She draws me pictures all the time and when I first got here she drew me a treasure map to my room. Adorable! And the 2 year old Kaylen is pretty stinkin' cute too! For the first couple of days she wasn't really sure about me but she's kind of opening up now and she even started saying my name today- Eminy.Yep, I like them so far. And it hasn't been too terribly awkward yet.

So that's pretty much it. Kairos is good! I still don't really know what God's going to do in me here or what to expect and I'm still a little scared for what's coming but so far, it's good.

Almost there

I leave for Kairos in 4 days. 4 DAYS!!! That's so soon! Right now life is just kind of chaotic in preparation for it and there's a lot of stuff I need prayer for. Here's how you can be praying:

• So far I have $2080 raised (praise God!) but I need a minimum of $3000 by Sunday. Pray for finances to come in.
• My car broke down Sunday so pray for it to be fixed and for it to be safe because I need it in order to get down to Kansas.
• Pray for strength for me as I have a lot to get done this week such as writing a paper, finishing college applications, packing, ect.
• Pray for my mom as she adjusts to having an empty house. She's not looking forward to it.
• Pray for me as well as my host family as we adjust to living with each other.
• Finally, pray for God to break down all the barriers I've put up and just take me and make me who He wants me to be. This one scares me a little bit (or a lot a bit) but I know it's necessary.

Thanks for any prayers! They are much appreciated!

          So, obviously since I don't actually get to Kansas until Saturday I don't have a whole lot to update you on. Like I said up in the prayer requests, life is very hectic right now. It's only now hitting me that I'm going to be living in Kansas in less than a week! As I get closer the excitement is going down and the nerves are going up. I know it's going to be great but still, it's finally here and that's a scary concept.
          I found out who my host family is. Their names are Geoff and Amy and they have two little girls that are 7 and 2. I talked to them a little bit and that helped to calm a lot of fear because they seem pretty great. You know, I've always wanted little siblings so this should be fun. And they have a dog and it's a big one! That is super exctiting. So yeah, I think it'll be good.

And so it starts. . .

So I am starting a blog. I've never had one before but I'm going to try it and just see how it goes. I figure it will be a good way to keep people updated on my current endeavors, especially now as I head off to Kairos. I really want to just jump in and start talking about Kairos but first I want to explain the title of my blog.

There's this skit by The Skit Guys called God's Chisel. I love it because it can say what I feel better than I can. It's like I ask God to come in and remove all the bad parts of me and to make me into his masterpiece but then when he starts, it hurts. Bad. And I resist. But in my heart I know that he's more than worth the pain. Lately, God's been doing a lot of chiseling in me. And I'm seeing myself slowly become the person that I strive to be, the person God wants me to be. But I know that there's still a heck of a lot of chiseling and breaking to be done before I even come close to being that person. So this is just a blog that will follow me on my spiritual journey, as he chisels away. That's pretty much it. You should watch that skit!   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhfUzodLRvk

Ok. So now, Kairos. I move to Kansas in just 2 1/2 weeks!!! Holy cow! I don't really know how to describe what I'm feeling (apparently that's not one of my strong suits. . .) I'm excited. Really excited. I mean, these people are going to become my family and my best friends. And God is going to do incredible things! Whether it's in Kansas or Honduras or wherever I end up next summer, God is going to change me while using me to change the world! Yeah, it's exciting! But at the same time, I'm scared out of my mind. I have to live with a host family which I know will be good eventually but still, if you were being thrown into a house with a bunch of strangers to live with them for the next 10 months, you'd be scared too. And it's also scary because I'm going into it knowing that there's a ton of garbage in my life that needs to be chipped away but like I said, it's painful, and I'm afraid to confront that. BUT, I also just feel ready to get down there and get into a routine and continue with life if that makes sense. So I don't know, I guess maybe I'm just anxious. A mix of excited and nervous and impatient . . . that seems to fit.

So that's my first blog. I don't really know how you're supposed to end them but, yeah. This new season of my life shall be interesting, if nothing else.