Well that was weird.

Last week we did our Kansas City Outreach and it was surprisingly incredible. We had 5 days of ministry and we did things like helping set up a garage sale for a youth center, having free prayer stands at the Plaza in Kansas City, hanging out with kids and cleaning at an Urban youth ministry, having a day of prayer at a local college, and spending a night cooking and socializing with a group of down syndrome teens. I really hadn't been looking forward to KC outreach because planning it was so stressful but seriously, God blew me away with how great it was.
The first night we went to Desoto Youth where we put on a program for about 30 teens and helped them set up for the garage sale. So we got there and Sarah (the student in charge of planning this outreach) comes walking around before we start asking if anyone wants to give a testimony. For some reason I kind of wanted to but I had no idea what I would say so I didn't think I actually would. She came back a few minutes later and told me that RJ was giving a lesson on living radically for Christ. Well that was weird because God's been teaching me a lot about that lately. So, hesitantly, I volunteered to speak with less than half an hour notice.
Now just so you realize how strange this is, let me tell you about the time back in December when we practiced public speaking in Kairos. We had to go up on stage and draw a random word out of a hat and then speak on it for a minute. I got up there and drew the word bellybuttons and after maybe 15 seconds, I left the stage shaking and crying having a panic attack in front of my entire class. Spontaneous public speaking isn't exactly my cup of tea.
So when I volunteered to speak with no time to plan every word I would say, that was WEIRD! In that 30 minutes I had, I tried to plan but when I rehearsed it in my head, I could only get throught the 2nd sentence before my mind would go blank. But I stayed strangely calm.
So we started the program with some worship and then RJ gave his message and then it was my turn. So I got up there and just started speaking. It was crazy because I think my words probably came out smoother and making more sense than they do in normal life. There was no shaking and no crying. It was just good.
I talked about how I always thought that living radically meant moving to Africa or something and how I was perfectly ok with that. And then I told them how I've always thought that the time until then was kind of a waste. But I explained that right now, God is calling me home, not to Africa. And in my eyes, home is just dark. I prayed for weeks that God would change his mind about sending me home but unfortunately, he didn't and so I finally just gave in and decided to go with it. There has been so much relief since I made that decision and now, God is showing me that I can still live radically, even at home. And that doesn't mean I need to be going out evangelizing everyday or anything like that but it just means that I can live my life completely dedicated to Christ and let people see it. And I don't need to isolate myself from the culture to do that. One thing that I plan to do is be a leader in my youth group. Realistically, I probably can't make what seems to be a big difference in my youth group or church but I can pour my life into a small group of girls and make a big difference in their lives. I can live my normal everyday life drenched in prayer and scripture and disciple a few girls in the process. It doesn't seem like much but it is living radically for Christ and that is what I have been called to do. And someday, I probably will move to Africa but in the meantime, God can still use me here.
So I just spoke about what God has been showing me lately and it was good. And I think that maybe it helped some of those kids because honestly, they're in middle or high school. Even if they are eventually called to be radical in Africa, they most likely do not have that option right now. So it was cool to be able to explain how they can be radical in a normal place.
So that was the beginning of our KC outreach and it was incredible. And after all I could say was, "Well, that was weird."
God is cool sometimes :)