Forgiveness

Last Friday, in my Power of the Cross class, we talked about forgiveness. At the end of the class, we had some time to talk to God and work through some of the stuff we talked about. As I was praying, God brought up an incident from over two years ago that I needed to forgive. So I'm going to get a little vulnerable and share that with you.
The incident he brought up was from my second trip to Sierra Leone. We were doing ministry at these barracks and while we were evangelizing, I got separated from my partner. Our whole team was still fairly close in the same area so even though I wasn't supposed to be alone, I didn't think much of it when two men started asking me questions about the drama we had just done. So I started talking to them and it was actually a really good conversation. They weren't ready to accept Christ or anything but they were engaging with what I was saying. Towards the end of our talk though, it started getting a little weird. They started asking me for my watch or my bandanna because they wanted something to remember me by. I said no. Then they asked me for my email or phone number. Again, I declined. By now I was starting to get uncomfortable so I tried to walk away but one man grabbed my hand and wouldn't let me go. I tried some more and he pulled me close and wrapped himself around me from behind and then kissed my cheek. When he did this, my team leader saw and ran over to rescue me. After this happened I felt terrible. I was angry and I felt violated and dirty. I wanted to just scrub my cheek over and over and pretend like it never happened. But it did happen and it affected me a lot.
Now, I had forgiven this man before and it's probably been months since I last thought about him. So it was really weird when this popped into my head after the forgiveness talk. It was even weirder because it was the first thing to pop into my head after the talk. So I prayed about it and I forgave him again and it was good.
The next day we had outreach. I'm in an outreach called Trinity Works where we go down to the University of Minnesota and evangelize. This week, I got partnered with one of my classmates Erica. So at this point in the story we had already had one AMAZING conversation with this man Prayvion (I have no clue how to spell that but it sounds like I wrote it...). He rededicated his life to Christ! But that's actually a different story so I don't want to talk much about it right now.
Anyways, after we had prayed for Prayvion and were walking back to the church, two men approached us and asked if we were from around here. We said no and found out that they weren't either. One of the guys was definitely flirting with Erica and he invited us to a bar so they could buy us drinks. Obviously we said no but we did agree to walk with them to the bar so that we could talk more. As we walked, they asked us what we were doing down at the U of M. Erica told them straight out that we were talking to people about Jesus. That shocked them! The one man said that he believed there was some sort of higher power but that it couldn't be Jesus or any of the other religions. He argued everything we said. The other man kept fairly quiet and let us talk even though he didn't agree.
Eventually we got to a stoplight where we stopped to talk for about 10 minutes. Erica started talking to the quieter man so the other one came to talk to me. We actually had a pretty decent conversation. He asked me why I believed in Jesus and when I answered he interrupted me and said that I only believed because I was taught to and Jesus was just an invented man that was supposed to bring control to society. I said, "No! I believe in Jesus because my life used to be crap but then Jesus entered it and he transformed me. Now, even though there are still crappy circumstances in my life, I am free and I am joyful and I have hope and life. And that transformation couldn't have happened if Jesus was just some made up control method." I was pretty fired up :) He didn't respond much to that though.
We kept talking for a few minutes and Erica and I needed to leave. We started to say good bye and this guy I had just been arguing with, who had been hitting on my friend the last 15 minutes, grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and then kissed me on my cheek even though I was pushing him off. Sound familiar? This was almost identical to what I had just forgiven the Sierra Leonian man for the day before. This wasn't just some weird coincidence, it was an attack.
So I pushed the guy off and Erica grabbed me and we walked away quickly. She asked if I was ok and I thought about it and I was. I realized that this creep didn't have to affect me. I didn't have to let him make me feel dirty or violated. What he did was gross and wrong but it didn't have to get under my skin. I was ok. I was able to forgive the man in Africa so now I could forgive this guy too. But I didn't have to wait 2 years to do it. Satan's attack didn't phase me, if anything it made me stronger and more confident.
On our way back to church, Erica and I prayed about what had just happened and then once she was sure I was alright, we started praising God for how he had moved that night. We praised him for Prayvion and for encouragement and for speaking through us. By the time we made the 10 minute walk back to the church, we were both so joyful. We couldn't stop laughing and smiling and it was just spilling out of us. Man, God is so good! He is so faithful and loving. He took this mess of a situation where I was attacked and turned it into something I could praise him for. How cool is that?! So anyways, it was a great night and I serve a great God.
Amen.